Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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