I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
