Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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