just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize