Buhtt sex?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
