I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize