Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
