If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
