Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
