so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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