OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
