My first STD was from a foam party
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
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Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
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I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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