next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
