ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
