mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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