wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
