I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
