The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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