wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He shit in the fireplace
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize