i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
