worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
