As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
