Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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