she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
