How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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