ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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