When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
