i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The air was thick with penises
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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