I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Randomize