apparently the secret to your success is patron
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
