Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
