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I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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