i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
