i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
