Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
