Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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