so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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