just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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