So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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