Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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