11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
