Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I have surprise drugs for everyone
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
