I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
