apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
