I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
