What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
