This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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