She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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