We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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