you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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