these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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