We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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