What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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