She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize