He is an equal opportunity slut.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
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he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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