Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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