I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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