Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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